People who pretend they are Statues Part 2

This will be my last rant on the topic.

I have had a brilliant idea!  Don't you think it would be really funny to find a mannequin, and dress the mannequin up to look like a person pretending to be a statue, and then put this mannequin out by all the other  living statues?

I know.  Brilliant.

People will be so overawed with my fake living statue (hmmm, does that just make it a statue?), that it will get all the dosh, and hopefully put the real fake statues out of business!

And, please, feel free to take this idea, and do it yourself.  The more fake living statues out there, has got to be bad for their business.

Please, send me photos.

The books that changed my life

Since birth I have loved books and reading.  I have always been an avid reader, and have spent many hours either at the library or reading. 

I remember when I was in the 3rd form (the first year of High School), and we had to read a book 'Z for Zachariah', and the teacher wanted our first impressions of it.  I told her that I had already read it, so couldn't really give a first impression.  She said fine, and pulled out a box of around 20 books to choose from.  I had read them all.  

At different points in my life, I would come across books that really changed me, who I was, how I behaved, my outlook on life and humanity.  Here are some of those books:

Firstly, 

The BabySitters Club Series.  'nuf said.

One Green Leaf, by Jean Ure.

I read this when I was 11 or 12.  It is a book for teens, that deals with friendship and death in a beautifully done, non-patronising way.

The Sugar Factory, by Robert Carter

I also read this when I was about 12.  About a kid who suffers a nervous breakdown and sits under his house with a galvanised bolt.  Hmmm, it sounds a bit strange, but I loved it, and re-read it many times.

On The Road, by Jack Kerouac

Read this when I was 14, I think.  A boy in my class at school was telling me all about Sal Paradise and his adventures on the road.  I read this book because of him.  I don't care if it is cliche to love this book, because it is so good.  It makes my heart sing, and it inspires me to write, to dream, to travel, to be true to myself.  I love it, and this book lead me on to read more wonderful books by other beat authors.

The Unbearable Lightness of Being, by Milan Kundera

If you have not read this book, I implore you to read it.  To own it.  The way Kundera writes shows the true beauty of words and language.  This book isn't just a novel, it is also philosophy.  When I read this book, I like to read it slowly and re-read paragraphs to immerse my mind in the incredible beauty of these words.

And now, if ever I am struggling with life, or having a hard time, I smile to myself, and I think, that at least I am not suffering from the unbearable lightness of being.  My life is heavy and full, and this book showed me that that is what life is all about.  

Quiet Days in Clichy, by Henry Miller

To be honest, I love everything by Henry Miller.  I love Henry Miller.  But this book in particular is magic.  Quite a short novel, but it flows so well.  Full of sex, love, fun and excess.  And I just discovered that they have made a movie of this book.  Don't know if I should see it or not.

People who pretend they are Statues

In this crazy ol' world, I try to live and let live, I try to understand, forgive, love, accept.  There are a few exceptions, and I am going to use a word that I don't use that much - HATE.
Thats right, I HATE those people who pretend they are statues!!

This may be hard to believe - but this is not actually a statue.  It is a person.  a real living person.  Hard to believe, huh?  Looks just like a statue.

I think the correct term is 'living statue'.  They are so wrong on so many levels.

I was perhaps 13 when I first saw a 'living statue'.  And to be honest, I thought it was pretty cool, I really thought that this thing I was seeing really was a statue.  And then she moved.  You know what I thought, I thought, wow, that chick can really stay still.  This was in the days when the living statues actually made a bit of an effort.  Her paint work was quite good.  And I was young.

When I moved over to London, in 2005, I worked on South Bank, right next to the London Eye.  Obviously, this area is a bit of a tourist mecca.  Along the footpath, in front of the London Eye, during the peak of summer there was someone pretending to be a statue about every 5 metres or so.  Seriously.  There were fucking heaps of these dicks.  And they were shit.  Some of them did have paint.  Some of them didn't.  One idiot was dressed up as a bright purple fluffy flamingo for christs sake!

Look at this guy.  LAZY.  He isn't even standing up.  He does not look like a statue!!  Who would give him money?  What possessed him to get up one day, and think, hmmm, I am going to be a statue?

I am not sure how the payment system works - do you chuck a few coins at them if you think they are being good at staying still?  Some of them seemed to think they could then move if you gave them money - just an excuse I reckon, they were probably getting stiff.  Or some of them seemed to think they should get money if they gave someone a fright.

The ones that really get to me though, are the 'couple' living statues.  Ugh.  So wrong.  I can't even begin to explain why I hate them so much.

'couple' living statue.  And with two money receptacles.  This is the type of thing that I was confronted with every lunch break in London.   

But even worse than the statues themselves are the people who flock to them!!!  It is pretty obvious that they are NOT STATUES!!!  So why do people get 'surprised' and laugh when they move???  Why do people crowd around them??  And then go from one, to another, and then to another?  I just do not get it.

The only place worse than London for living statues, that I have come across so far, is Barcelona.

Oh yeah, thats right, I can KNIT

One evening a couple of weeks ago, I suddenly thought "I want to KNIT".  However, I didn't know how, nor have any knitting needles or wool (I think you call it yarn in the USA).

So I put the idea out of my head, but the universe had other ideas and the next day whilst I was visiting Grandma, she started talking about knitting.  As it turns out, she can no longer knit much due to arthritis, and has a veritable treasure of knitting paraphernalia, and I was allowed it all!

Just not yet.

I was required to prove myself first, and was sent away with one pair of knitting needles, and a few scraps of old wool.  That evening I taught myself to cast on, using trusty old youtube.  Then I taught myself how to knit.

I knitted a few rows, went back to see Grandma, was given a knitting needle upgrade, and some more wool.

First  I decided to knit a scarf.  But it got kind of boring as my row was so wide.  So I decided to sew it into a tube, and turn it into a neck warmer:

So the reason one end is narrower than the other is because I changed to the
new bigger knitting needles after the first row.  This is my piece of knitting before I darned in the  loose wool.

With the ends all darned in

with the ends sewed together, into a tube, folded in half.  this gets pulled over the had to become
a 'neck warmer'

Since completing my neck warmer, I have decided that I will turn it into a hat, and I am now knitting a proper scarf (much narrower!), and it is a race - what will happen first, will this storm hit, or will I finish the scarf in time for my son to wear it in the snow!

Off to see Grandma again in a couple of days...hopefully I will be allowed the 'good wool'.  And I happened to notice a couple of crochet hooks, so might give that a go too.

The Easiest Quickest Tastiest Dessert

Sometimes, as a woman, as a mother, you just need something to get you through the evening.  It used to be wine for me, but nowadays, as a breastfeeding Mama, wine isn't always the best thing.
But I will tell you what IS the best thing.  This super quick chocolate cake.  Here is the recipe.  Treasure it.


Microwave Chocolate Cake


Mix together
3 tbsp butter/margarine
3/4 cup sugar (whatever you've got - white, raw, brown...)
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla essence
1/4 cup milk

Then sift in
1/2 cup flour
3 tbsp cocoa powder
1/4 tsp baking powder















Mix until smooth


Divide into two coffee mugs and then microwave on high.  If I am cooking just one at a time, they take 3 minutes each in our microwave, or if I am cooking them at the same time then it takes 4 minutes.  Your microwave might be different.

The cakes - all cooked!

Then serve with cream/whipped cream/ice-cream.

Seriously. Soooo good.  And sooo easy.