The Breast Nazi Myth

I am a rather passionate breastfeeding mother.  I am an active member of La Leche League and I know that breast is best.
Even as I write this, there will be someone who reads this as:  'If you feed your baby formula, then I think you are a bad mother'.
This is not the case.
I follow a number of parenting pages on facebook.  As soon as one of them posts a link to an article about the benefits of breastfeeding, someone always has to add comments such as:
'Thats nice - for those mothers that CAN breastfeed.'
'I formula feed my baby, and hes healthy'
'Breastfeeding isn't always best'

Breastfeeding is the BEST option for mothers and babies.  I am completely aware that in some situations breastfeeding is not possible.  And in these cases, I am very thankful that mothers have access to high quality formula to feed their baby.  I believe that breastmilk is best, but I also believe that formula has its place, and that many mothers absolutely require formula to feed their baby.

I just wish that breastfeeding could be properly promoted, and new mothers had access to high quality breastfeeding information and support, without fear of offending woman that use formula.  And almost all breastfeeding problems can be overcome if the mother is willing.

I don't believe that the 'Breast Nazi' actually exists.  I think that some mothers who formula feed, simply hear something that isn't being said.  They are reading between the lines and getting a completely different message.

Why Attachment Parenting works for me, my children, and family

When I was pregnant with my first son, I read every 'mainstream' parenting book I could get my hands on.  And boy, was I glad I did!  I had it sorted - my baby wasn't even born and I knew exactly what I was going to do once he arrived.  No way was I going to fall into these bad habits that some other parents did.  My baby was going to sleep well, feed properly and overall be a contented wee man.

But then he arrived.....

The books said if I did X, Y and Z then the outcome would be a baby who would go to sleep without help ('self-settling'), and sleep through the night at an early age.  But the thing was, my baby hadn't read the same books as me.  He didn't do as he was meant to do.  I did X, Y and Z and instead of a sleeping baby, I got a screaming, inconsolable baby.  And the books had no contingency plan.

My son had severe reflux.  He was around 2 months old when he was officially diagnosed, and those first two months were very difficult.  He wanted to feed constantly as the milk felt soothing going down his throat, which was burnt from the acid in his stomach.  He never slept during the day, and didn't sleep well at night.  I knew something wasn't right, and there was no way I was going to let him 'cry it out' to get to sleep.  It went against all of my instincts.  'Helpful' people would tell me I was doing everything wrong, as I was responding to him too quickly, they would tell me that he was fine, and he was just manipulating me.  I felt like an absolute failure - the books I had read didn't work for me, everyone else's babies seemed so much happier and content and here I was struggling to get any sleep at night, feeding non-stop through the day, and looking after a baby who never slept and was often very distressed.

I started to co-sleep, as it was the only way any of us could get any sleep.  I continued to breastfeed on demand.  I responded to my baby as quickly as I could.

Then one day a mother I sort of knew approached me and asked if I would like to come along to a La Leche League meeting.  I jumped at the chance.  I didn't fit in with my coffee group, that was formed with the women from my antenatal classes.  It was at this meeting that I met other mothers who cared for their children how I cared for my baby.  And it was at this meeting that I found a book in their library:
The Attachment Parenting Book by Martha and William Sears.
This book changed my life.  Instead of feeling like a failure, I felt proud of my parenting style.  It kind of felt good to know that children like my son were described as 'high-needs' (this is nothing like 'special needs').  There are seven basic principles to attachment parenting.  They are known as the Seven B's:

1. Birth bonding
2. Breastfeeding
3. Babywearing
4. Bedding close to baby
5. Belief in the language value of your baby's cry
6. Beware of baby trainers
7. Balance

I will do a series of blogs on each of the principles.

Sleep deprived delirium..

I had so many exciting topics in mind for my second post - attachment parenting, recipes, tips for new mothers, crafts, my current marriage problems...
But all that has gone out the window as I have not one, but two sick kids.

Mr 3 started out with bad croup-y sounding cough on Thursday night.  He has then gone on to have HIGH fevers, a really bad cough, and just generally unwell.  He has been sleeping in bed with me and has required a lot of night-time parenting.  So he is pretty hard work, constantly needing cuddles etc.

But the fun really started last night (Sunday) when my 7 month old had a bit of a red spot on his face. My husband thought we ought to check the rest of his body, and thank god we did.  Seriously, his arms and shoulders were covered with nasty red, swollen welts.  Called the Dr's surgery, who just happened to be running a Sunday evening clinic, by the time we got there, his face was swollen with hives, and the rash was spreading rapidly.

Turns out he has an allergy.  To what, I have no idea.  I didn't feed him anything different to normal, and I haven't eaten anything differently, in case it was something in my milk.

He got dosed up with steroids, we came home, and had to check on him every 10 - 15 minutes during the night in case his breathing became difficult.  Then at 3am he decided it was time to get up.  He looked quite a bit better, the swelling on his face had gone down.  My husband kindly offered to get up with him so I could get some sleep.  But the time I got up at 6am, the swelling and rash was even worse.

So back down to the dr's.  So thankful that our doctor didn't mind getting up and meeting us there at 6.30am. Now he has had more steroids, and antihistamine and he is looking much better.

Phew.

So happy too, that doctors visits are free for children under 6 in NZ.  I think they normally charge for after hours visits, but not this time.

Since Thursday night, I have not had more than 3 hours sleep each night.  I am kind of in a sleep-deprived delirium.

First Blog Post

My first blog post....

Have been feeling really inspired this week so far this is what I have done:

Yes, these are the onions!


• Purchased a pattern to make a dress, which I am going to alter to make it breastfeeding friendly.
• Put in place an eight month plan to purchase our first home
• Planted onions.  Why the hell I did this I will never know...cost me $4 for about 20 onion plants.  I think I could buy a bag of 20 onions for $4.  Without all of the work.
• Organised a local venue for The Big Latch On
• Read 'Dead Reckoning' by Charlaine Harris...yes, I know it is trashy, but I don't care.  I love Sookie Stackhouse.  And Eric.
• Commissioned a portrait of me breast feeding my lovely 7 month old son Monty.

A few more things to sort out - like putting up some photos on this blog!

Okay, so first blog post done!  Now all that pressure is off, hopefully I can enjoy writing my next one a little more.