Why Attachment Parenting works for me, my children, and family

When I was pregnant with my first son, I read every 'mainstream' parenting book I could get my hands on.  And boy, was I glad I did!  I had it sorted - my baby wasn't even born and I knew exactly what I was going to do once he arrived.  No way was I going to fall into these bad habits that some other parents did.  My baby was going to sleep well, feed properly and overall be a contented wee man.

But then he arrived.....

The books said if I did X, Y and Z then the outcome would be a baby who would go to sleep without help ('self-settling'), and sleep through the night at an early age.  But the thing was, my baby hadn't read the same books as me.  He didn't do as he was meant to do.  I did X, Y and Z and instead of a sleeping baby, I got a screaming, inconsolable baby.  And the books had no contingency plan.

My son had severe reflux.  He was around 2 months old when he was officially diagnosed, and those first two months were very difficult.  He wanted to feed constantly as the milk felt soothing going down his throat, which was burnt from the acid in his stomach.  He never slept during the day, and didn't sleep well at night.  I knew something wasn't right, and there was no way I was going to let him 'cry it out' to get to sleep.  It went against all of my instincts.  'Helpful' people would tell me I was doing everything wrong, as I was responding to him too quickly, they would tell me that he was fine, and he was just manipulating me.  I felt like an absolute failure - the books I had read didn't work for me, everyone else's babies seemed so much happier and content and here I was struggling to get any sleep at night, feeding non-stop through the day, and looking after a baby who never slept and was often very distressed.

I started to co-sleep, as it was the only way any of us could get any sleep.  I continued to breastfeed on demand.  I responded to my baby as quickly as I could.

Then one day a mother I sort of knew approached me and asked if I would like to come along to a La Leche League meeting.  I jumped at the chance.  I didn't fit in with my coffee group, that was formed with the women from my antenatal classes.  It was at this meeting that I met other mothers who cared for their children how I cared for my baby.  And it was at this meeting that I found a book in their library:
The Attachment Parenting Book by Martha and William Sears.
This book changed my life.  Instead of feeling like a failure, I felt proud of my parenting style.  It kind of felt good to know that children like my son were described as 'high-needs' (this is nothing like 'special needs').  There are seven basic principles to attachment parenting.  They are known as the Seven B's:

1. Birth bonding
2. Breastfeeding
3. Babywearing
4. Bedding close to baby
5. Belief in the language value of your baby's cry
6. Beware of baby trainers
7. Balance

I will do a series of blogs on each of the principles.