The Quickest Easiest Tastiest Home Made Ice Cream

Following on from my earlier recipe for an easy dessert (the outrageously delicious microwave chocolate cake), I will now impart with my ice-cream recipe.

Ingredients:
300ml cream
1 can sweetened condensed milk
1 Crunchie Bar (for those people in non Crunchie Bar countries, find something similar to this)

Method:

• Whip cream
• Fold in condensed milk - best to do this gradually, or else it 'pools' at the bottom
• Smash up the crunchie and stir this through
• Freeze
• Eat

DONE!

I know.  So tasty.  So easy.  If you want to thank me, you can just make me some.  This is another one of those life changing recipes.

The struggles of being an introverted mother

According to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, I am an INFJ personality type.
Introverted
Intuitive
Feeling
Judging

This is apparently one of the rarest personality types, with 1 - 3% of people exhibiting this personality type (this kinda makes me feel a bit special!).

Synopsis of INFJ personality type:

• INFJs tend to be reserved, quiet and have a small circle of close friends
• INFJs are prefer abstract concepts and tend to focus on the big picture rather than concrete details
• INFJs place a greater emphasis on personal concerns than objective facts when making decisions.
• INFJs like to exert control by planning, organizing and making decisions as early as possible.

People with INFJ personalities tend to exhibit the following characteristics:

• Idealistic
• Sensitive to the needs of others
• Highly creative and artistic
• Reserved
• Focused on the future
• Private
• Values close, deep relationships
• Enjoys thinking about the meaning of life

INFJs are driven by their strong values and seek out meaning in all areas of their lives including relationships and work. People with this type of personality are often described as deep and complex.

INFJs have an innate ability to understand other people's feelings. While they are introverted, they sometimes seem extroverted at times due to their strong interest in people and society. INFJs are interested in helping others and making the world a better place. They tend to be excellent listeners and are good at interacting with people which whom they are emotionally close and connected. While they care deeply about others, INFJs tend to be very introverted and are only willing to share their "true selves" with a select few. After being in social situations, INFJs need time to themselves to "recharge."

INFJs also have a talent for language and are usually quite good at expressing themselves on paper. They have a vivid inner life, but they are often hesitant to share this with others except for perhaps those closest to them. While they are quiet and sensitive, they can also be good leaders. Even when they don't take on overt leadership roles, they often act as quiet influencers behind the scenes.

In school, INFJs are usually high achievers and get good grades. They can be perfectionists at times and tend to put a great deal of effort into their academic work. INFJs enjoy learning, particularly about people, society, literature and art. They tend to prefer studying subjects that involves abstract theories and ideas rather than concrete facts and information.

Because they are reserved and private, INFJs can be difficult to get to know. They place a high value on close, deep relationships and can be hurt easily, although they often hide these feelings from others.

So how does this affect my life as a mother?

Firstly, the one thing that I miss more than anything else since becoming a mother, is being by myself.  I enjoy being alone.  I am only able to write, and follow other creative pursuits in solitude.  If I can't write, I get quite stressed as it is pretty much the only way that I can truly and accurately express myself.

I also need to be alone in order to re-charge myself.  I get drained when I am around people.

So as a mother I rarely get time all to myself.  I love my beautiful children dearly, they are my heart and soul, and my life is so much better with them in it.  But sometimes, I just need a break.  It is a struggle.

My eldest son, 3 years, is also an introvert, I think (although I could be wrong), however I am sure my 9 month old son is an extrovert.  My husband is an introvert.  My husband and I both understand that we each need time alone to just 'be'.  

My husband is currently on a roster where he works 7 days, then has 2 days off.  So basically on his days off, he has a sleep in and time out on one of the days, and me on the other.  So that is one day in nine that I get to have 'me' time.  

On my most special day I sleep in.  Sometimes I don't sleep as I like to be awake to enjoy being alone.  I might watch a movie in bed.  Then I like to take a long shower.  I like to check my email.  I like to garden.  I like to write.  And read.  Today is my 'me' day.  I make the most of every moment that I can.  I need to recharge as much as possible to get me through the next 8 days.

Sometimes I have to stay up late, even if I am tired, just to be alone. I feel less tired, if I get that alone time.

But what is still elusive, is having the house to myself.  To me that would be a dream.  If my husband went out with the kids, and I could have the whole place to myself.  To listen to music loudly.  Or quietly.  To do what I want without having to be considerate to everyone else. 

This isn't the best written blog post, I am a bit all over the place today.  Hopefully I have got my message across.

A surreal night and Siamese Bananas

Important: Please read this first.  
I thought long and hard about publishing this blog post as it is rather personal and insightful into my past.  For those that know me in real life, hey, we are all products of our experiences. 

It was January 2002, and I was living in Melbourne.  I shared a house with my best friend Anna, and another girl, Rachael, a messed up drug dealer struggling to complete her masters degree in curatorship.  I was 20 years old.

Anna and I dressed up for a night on the town.  We were going to see a musical ensemble (ok, a band), that was touring Australia.  We had tickets, but could only scrape together $5 between us.  We walked over to an acquaitances house.  His name was Tom.  He once won a competition for stapling his penis to a crucifix and lighting it on fire.  He ended up doing this three times, and being invited onto the Jerry Springer show, but that never eventuated.  Tom was a sexual deviant.  I don't recall why we were going to the gig with him.

Me, on the left, and Anna on the right.  Taken just before we left.

We arrived at the bar (walking all the way, of course, $5 doesn't get you far on public transport), and enjoyed the ambiance and music.  The band was amazing, and we were all blown away.  They sure knew how to blow those horns.  The building was a mass of sweaty bodies, jumping up and down in the dark.  

After the show ended, Anna, Tom and I walked to another bar.  Tom disappeared at this stage.  I excused myself, and went to the ladies room, and upon returning Anna had joined a group of people, including the saxophone player from the band we had just seen.  Things started to get a little strange.

A girl in this group came up to Anna and spoke "I KNOW you, you're Hilary".  I advised her that I was in fact Hilary, and that she obviously didn't know me at all.  This pissed her off.  

Anna had become engrossed in conversation with a man, and then she turned around and said she had just taken a large dose of liquid acid (LCD).  It came on fast, and the next thing I knew I was having to babysit her a bit.

The group of us decided to leave and walk back to the apartment of one of the group.  There was a full moon and we did handstands in the park.  There were sprinklers going.  We were all laughing easily, we were relaxed and happy.

This apartment was small but well appointed.  The guy who lived there was a beautiful gay man.  More of a boy.  He can't have been 20 yet.  He had all sorts of curiosities - a guitar made out of an armadillo shell was of great interest to Anna who was well and truly tripping at this stage.  

There would have been perhaps 6 or 7 of us there.  We sat on the balcony and talked in the darkness.  In the dark it is much easier to share with strangers.  

The guy with the acid offered me some.  I accepted.  When I feel acid coming on, a strange thing happens, I can only think about what I am looking at.  I will forget everything else.  It is a strange and unsettling feeling.  I decided to take a bath.

The bath relaxed me slightly.  Upon getting out I dressed.  I forgot to put my bra on.  I left it hanging in the bathroom.  I went into the lounge and lay down on the couch, and laid my head on the saxaphone players lap.  I must have looked rather fetching.  Warm, fresh and clean from the bath, with a tight white tank top with no bra on.  

We made passionate mad love in the spare room.  It turned out it wasn't the spare room, but it was the bedroom of the guy that lived there.  He was none too impressed.  We then lay in bed and talked about all the important things, true love, art, literature, life.  

I had forgotten about the acid until everyone else came into the room.  The stimulus seemed to immediately put me into an intense state of tripping.  I laughed hysterically and told true stories of the Kingdom of Tonga, about the Kings idea to sell passports, and sell a mythical matchbox sized generator that turned saltwater into drinking water.  I was hungry and someone got some grapes out of the fridge.

It was daylight now.  Everyone looked different to the people I had been with last night.  One guy had waist length red hair.  How had I not noticed something so striking?

So to sum up:

I was lying naked in a gay mans bed, with a straight saxaphone player, being fed slightly old grapes by a man with waist length curly red hair, listening to my best friend attempt to play a song on an armadillo guitar.

What more could you ask from life?

When we left in the morning, I was still hungry.  I wanted a banana.  We went to a fruit shop.  I saw some bananas, and I am not kidding you, they were all 'siamese' bananas.  Each banana was like two bananas stuck together.  I have never seen anything like it before or after.  This was something to see when tripping.  I was shrieking with surprise.  In fact, I believe I was making a scene.  I bought one, and ate it.  It was bizarre.  I contemplated keeping the skin, so that I could show people I wasn't making it up, and that it wasn't an acid induced hallucination.  

See, they do exist.

A bunch of siamese bananas

The saxaphone player and I parted ways.  

I arrived home, and still had the $5 in my pocket.

I learned later that the gay guy died of AIDS not long after.