The struggles of being an introverted mother

According to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, I am an INFJ personality type.
Introverted
Intuitive
Feeling
Judging

This is apparently one of the rarest personality types, with 1 - 3% of people exhibiting this personality type (this kinda makes me feel a bit special!).

Synopsis of INFJ personality type:

• INFJs tend to be reserved, quiet and have a small circle of close friends
• INFJs are prefer abstract concepts and tend to focus on the big picture rather than concrete details
• INFJs place a greater emphasis on personal concerns than objective facts when making decisions.
• INFJs like to exert control by planning, organizing and making decisions as early as possible.

People with INFJ personalities tend to exhibit the following characteristics:

• Idealistic
• Sensitive to the needs of others
• Highly creative and artistic
• Reserved
• Focused on the future
• Private
• Values close, deep relationships
• Enjoys thinking about the meaning of life

INFJs are driven by their strong values and seek out meaning in all areas of their lives including relationships and work. People with this type of personality are often described as deep and complex.

INFJs have an innate ability to understand other people's feelings. While they are introverted, they sometimes seem extroverted at times due to their strong interest in people and society. INFJs are interested in helping others and making the world a better place. They tend to be excellent listeners and are good at interacting with people which whom they are emotionally close and connected. While they care deeply about others, INFJs tend to be very introverted and are only willing to share their "true selves" with a select few. After being in social situations, INFJs need time to themselves to "recharge."

INFJs also have a talent for language and are usually quite good at expressing themselves on paper. They have a vivid inner life, but they are often hesitant to share this with others except for perhaps those closest to them. While they are quiet and sensitive, they can also be good leaders. Even when they don't take on overt leadership roles, they often act as quiet influencers behind the scenes.

In school, INFJs are usually high achievers and get good grades. They can be perfectionists at times and tend to put a great deal of effort into their academic work. INFJs enjoy learning, particularly about people, society, literature and art. They tend to prefer studying subjects that involves abstract theories and ideas rather than concrete facts and information.

Because they are reserved and private, INFJs can be difficult to get to know. They place a high value on close, deep relationships and can be hurt easily, although they often hide these feelings from others.

So how does this affect my life as a mother?

Firstly, the one thing that I miss more than anything else since becoming a mother, is being by myself.  I enjoy being alone.  I am only able to write, and follow other creative pursuits in solitude.  If I can't write, I get quite stressed as it is pretty much the only way that I can truly and accurately express myself.

I also need to be alone in order to re-charge myself.  I get drained when I am around people.

So as a mother I rarely get time all to myself.  I love my beautiful children dearly, they are my heart and soul, and my life is so much better with them in it.  But sometimes, I just need a break.  It is a struggle.

My eldest son, 3 years, is also an introvert, I think (although I could be wrong), however I am sure my 9 month old son is an extrovert.  My husband is an introvert.  My husband and I both understand that we each need time alone to just 'be'.  

My husband is currently on a roster where he works 7 days, then has 2 days off.  So basically on his days off, he has a sleep in and time out on one of the days, and me on the other.  So that is one day in nine that I get to have 'me' time.  

On my most special day I sleep in.  Sometimes I don't sleep as I like to be awake to enjoy being alone.  I might watch a movie in bed.  Then I like to take a long shower.  I like to check my email.  I like to garden.  I like to write.  And read.  Today is my 'me' day.  I make the most of every moment that I can.  I need to recharge as much as possible to get me through the next 8 days.

Sometimes I have to stay up late, even if I am tired, just to be alone. I feel less tired, if I get that alone time.

But what is still elusive, is having the house to myself.  To me that would be a dream.  If my husband went out with the kids, and I could have the whole place to myself.  To listen to music loudly.  Or quietly.  To do what I want without having to be considerate to everyone else. 

This isn't the best written blog post, I am a bit all over the place today.  Hopefully I have got my message across.